I'm spending quality time with my cervix and uterus today

Good morning,

I'm up and have got to make the most of the day. Spend some quality time with my lady parts. Why, you may ask? Because they are gonzo as of tomorrow. Bye Bye, uterus and cervix. We shared some fun times.

Tomorrow marks day 1 of brachytherapy and this is when shit gets real. Really real. The therapists walked me through the process last week. I tried to look like this when they were explaining it to me:

Like I've got this handled or something. I think I was more like this, though:

They showed me the piece of radiation that they will actually PUT INSIDE ME using a robot-like machine and they will position it in my body from two rooms away. I had nightmares about this last night. Like, I spiked a fever, and that lit up the yellow rock inside me and this happened:

I feel it is my civic duty to warn you all ahead of time, you know? I'm thinking that's a worst case scenario, but it could happen. If you happen to have a hazmat suit, tomorrow might be a good day to wear it if you live in the Hammer.

You can thank me later.